How to identify tragedy, or sin

How do we know we are living a tragedy? How do we tell whether we are sinning? How do we know what God is trying to tell us? This is not an exhaustive answer, but it is a true one.

An example

A friend of mine with great powers of rationalization once took a personality test that told him he was a type that thought of himself as logical, but that he actually sometimes acts on strong, non-rational senses of obligation to certain conclusions or ideas, even when they are wrong, using logic as a tool to justify himself. (I was not surprised!) He came to me, concerned that this explained away his Christian faith.

“What if,” he said, “I’m only Christian because when I was younger (before I was Christian) I had a strong sense that promiscuity was bad, and I felt a duty to follow that moral sense into Christianity, or Christianity validated what I already thought?”

This is the answer I gave him: His reasons for believing are affirmed by his many discussion partners. That is, he talks about it freely, and he responds to good arguments when he hears them. His faith is not unexamined, and reasonable people agree with his reasons.

The place in your life where you can be almost certain there’s trouble is the place where everyone around you, among your respected Christian advisors and especially the people who know you really well and love you, think that you are doing something problematic. If you are committed to an attitude or a course of action that nearly everyone thinks is wrong, or harmful, it may be worth a second look. You might be rationalizing.

My poor friend does have something like that in his life, but he scoffs as soon as a conversation moves in that direction. I think he may have rationalized away the test itself in this instance, which is fitting, ironic, funny, and tragic.

A helpful list

Now, I know that it is hard to see out from our sin. Here is a short list of red flags to help you explore. Where in your life do these touch you?

You might be rationalizing or allowing sin if…

…if a lot of the people around you agree that your actions aren’t good. If you hear the same observation over and over. (Hearing something over and over may also be a good sign God is asking something of you in a positive sense.)

…if you’re drifting away from your good friends and seeking out others who affirm your choices, even if they are less suited to you as friends or peers.

…if there’s a part of your life where you won’t take your own advice.

…if you become defensive or try to end the conversation when people want to talk about it.

…if you are hurting others but you think your own happiness justifies it.

…if you think you are the exception to the rule (e.g., you aren’t like other gamblers, other drinkers, all those other people using dating websites)

Again, the list isn’t exhaustive. But we ought to know that we can shield ourselves from unpleasant truths and that we can become very practiced at it.

Why it matters

Stepping out of sin requires consciously identifying it. It requires an intentional re-direction of the will, which will not be achieved simply by praying, “God keep me from sin” or “God grant that I stop being sinful.” Nope. You’ve got to know you were sinning and turn from it. Nobody said it was easy. God will help us and work with us; after all, he wants us to succeed, but see my last entry for how imperative it is that we actually get in the boat God sends us.

This is part of why Catholics think it is a good idea for people to confess to a priest and do penance. It requires you to examine yourself and to articulate what is wrong. You have to face it. Then, the priest assigns you some task to set things aright, not in the world, but in yourself. Responding with action is a tool, a way of helping a sinner achieve that intentional re-direction of the will.

I know someone who offers a lot of short prayers that God keep him from sin, and give him guidance, but the poor guy is one of the most adrift folks I know these days. God has given him guidance, but God’s guidance requires things of him. Bleh, who wants that? Instead, this guy prays, and assumes that if God doesn’t come down and physically re-direct him or change his emotions for him, he’s free to wander in any direction he chooses.

But that doesn’t work, apparently. The stuff above does! It’s how I figure out my own sins. And addressing them requires work for me just like it does for everyone else.