Christian ethics and the person of God

It seems like my life has had a theme recently. The sermon this week was another good one. An oldie, but a goodie, if you will. We were reminded that God is always other-oriented in love, and that God’s intention is to bring unity, while the devil works for separation, and that these facts are the basis for all Christian morality: in our marriages, in our friendships, in all our relationships.

Christianity is a very relational religion, isn’t it? I was talking with someone after church about how there are people-oriented people and task-oriented people. But the primary task that Christianity asks of us is to love others the way God loves us, the way Christ loves us. To always privilege love over separation. To always privilege the other over ourselves. And to do it non-abstractly.

It is the opposite of our current cultural training. Look first to your own interests. If you can believe it, I actually know someone who has articulated his relationship theory in terms of the free market: I get something I want out of it, so does she, like in economics where a free, bargained-for exchange leaves both parties thinking they’ve given something of lesser value and gotten something of greater value. Someone out there actually thinks this is a feasible relationship model! Needless to say, he won’t find anyone until he gives that up. Or if he does, they’ll make each other very unhappy and have no access to what is sanctifying about the sacrament of marriage.

In fact, Christian ethics teaches us that the opposite is actually the way to be successful. Give everything! Expect to take a loss! Older couples who are interviewed about what made their marriages successful talked about the importance of remaining friends, and about how bad it is to think of marriage as an exchange, to think of what you deserve. Every day, you have to give 100%. Christian morality is other-oriented. Unity-oriented. For my money, marriage is the best training we can have in Christian ethics. (Not if you’re a free-market spouse, of course. But if you are trying to do it God’s way.)

The whole Christian outlook on life rests on this truth about God’s personality. When we don’t live accordingly, we are denying our God.